Funniest Death Scenes In Movies

Three movies that had death scenes which made me laugh uncontrollably were, in no particular order as follows:


2. Departed. If you haven't seen the movie don't watch this clip. Don't even rent it, go buy the movie. The scene is the ending. Once you've seen the movie you will understand why this death scene is so good.

3. Titanic. The real life titanic sinking is not funny. But the titanic in the movie, cracks me up. When those bodies start falling off the ship. Their heads start hitting the railings and making that ping and clanging noise. I cackled. (I was not able to find a clip on youtube). (I also laughed in the movie when Leonardo DiCaprio showed his paintings of some woman and referred to her as one legged hooker.)

When I watched these movies I saw them with a date. My favorite of their responses to my involuntary laughter was "Your the only person who would laugh at that." Eh, maybe.

Here I am feeling like an idiot.

Because he probably thinks I am trying to con him out of one of his cds. I admire this guy’s work and now I feel like a complete idiot...

Let me back up a moment, this is story is from a about a year and a half ago. So here is what happened. I drove several hours to work a show without pay just so I could work with Tom Rhodes. I would have drove a couple hours just to watch him, much less get to work with him.

He was selling CDs after the show and I didn’t have any cash on me so I asked the owner of the club if I could get cash back from my credit card to buy a CD.

The owner said, "Just ask Tom for a CD and say it is for me." I hesitated, are you sure? "Yes"
Okay then.

So I sheepishly walked over to Tom and said that the club owner wants one of your CDs.

Tom asked which one,
and like a five year old who is about to get ice cream, I said “Ummm, that one.”

He responded, “You want a cd?”
(The Jig was UP!, I felt like a complete idiot. Here is a guy who is on top of his profession and here I am this dopey MC trying to con him out of his CDs.)

My mind flashes to the future, of him telling this story to another comic, "Yeah then this asshole no name emcee tried to con me out of my CD by saying the owner... Ben, was his name, yeah, never trust this weasel or let him share a stage with you. He’s scum."

But instead of making me feel like more of a jerk than I already do, he smiles, says “Sure thing man, you can have one. That’s cool of you to want one.”

He saw right through me and let me walk away with dignity. He’s a class act.

There is a unique looking cat that

shows up around my apartment. It’s orange, black and white with emerald green eyes and it has 3 legs.

It has 4 legs really but only 3 cat paws. It lost a foot at some point so it hops around like it only has three legs.

Every time I see it, I move calmly and slowly. So it doesn't freak out.

The cat always looks freaked out.

So the other day I was grilling steak the cat showed up. I thought, “It's probably hungry, for God sakes, it's only got THREE LEGS. Seriously, What the hell is it going to be able to catch? ...a handicap space.”

So I cut the steak into small pieces and hooked him up.

The cat, was not interested.

My kindness changes quickly when it's not appreciated. As soon as he was disinterested, I was annoyed. “Stupid cat, I don't remember the last time I had steak, much less enough to share with some Fur Ball tripod.

I told my roommate, “I tried to feed the orange cat” and he said,
"Why did you try to feed it?"

At first I thought to myself, “Ben you were being nice." Then it clicked, my roommate was right.

What asshole cooks steak then wastes it on a cat.

Then I realized that sometimes, I think like a 5 year old girl. I might as well have pretended that I was having a tea party and strapped the cat to a chair.
“OK Mr. Kitty, don’t you just love playing tea party? Have some steak”

I also cut up the pieces of steak for a cat. WAY TO GO BEN.

A cat survives the backyards of Chicago neighborhoods without the use of it's 4th leg but it's a good thing you cut up the steak, because it could have choked.

When a cat eats a bird, it eats the whole bird. Then later it regurgitates the bones and feathers. Great Work Ben, you sure saved the day by cutting up a tender piece of cow.

Besides, if that cat killed itself by choking on a piece of steak, It was that cat's time to die.

Sweet Home Chicago

I first came to Chicago, IL as a kid and enjoyed it but when I came here years later to visit my brother I became enthralled with the city. I knew at some point, I would live here too. I interviewed for a job but did not get it so I moved to Nashville instead.

A few years later in the midst of the biggest economic recession of my lifetime, two friends and I decided to quit our jobs and move to Chicago with no employment or income because we are GENIUSES!

*The posts here will unfold out of order. Pieces won't always fit but check back, I think you will enjoy it.